I came across a post on facebook earlier; I've copied it in it's entirety and pasted it below (it is a really long post but please, stick with it) however, I am not (and never would/was) going to claim it as my own. I have also shared this whole page in its entirety to the other blogs I have been given access to. I truly believe the words are so important and need to be shared.
A lady called Julie Perkins Cantrell wrote it; I found it after it was shared on the page of someone I follow. The Original Poster (shown further down the page in blue) below will take you directly to Julie's page and the post she wrote. The only reason I wanted to copy it in full is in case she deletes her page, or the post gets deleted. It would be a shame for the words she ha written not to be read in the future as well.
She is talking specifically about the recent news events whereby Gabrielle (Gabby) Petito was reported missing whilst travelling through the Grand Teton National Park with her fiance Brian Laundrie. Her body has since been found, he has now (at the point-in-time I am writing this) gone missing, having refused to tell police, her family, or anyone who has asked, where he saw her last. He drove her vehicle home without her. Everything about the whole thing was "off" from the very beginning. I'm not going to lie, I made the assumption that he had killed her, disposed of her, and was hoping she'd not be found as soon as I heard she was missing and he wasn't willing to cooperate.
For those of you who may come across this once the story has died down, wikipedia looks like it will be around for a long time to come; I'm going to assume that means the details of this case will be too. You can currently find it here... Wiki Link
The thing about abuse is you don't realise it is happening to you when it's happening - unless of course it's physical abuse, although even then abuse victims will blame themselves, or make excuses for their abusers behaviour. You feel like it's your fault; something you said rubbed them up the wrong way. Your fault. A question you asked that they didn't like? Your fault. Daring to voice an opinion that is different to theirs; your fault. Or so they will make you feel, yet's it's not your fault at all and nobody has the right to make you think it is. If you've asked a question and they don't like it then so be it. I'm pretty sure they'll ask lots of questions people won't like, yet they won't give them grief, or abuse them for it. Why are you only allowed an opinion that is the same as theirs? That's not how it works. Whether it's mental, physical, sexual or verbal, nobody, nobody has the right to abuse you and make you take the blame for their behaviour. Nobody.
I've been there; I was abused from the second I entered the school system, until I was 47 years old. That's right, it took me until then to figure it out. Along the way I'd sussed several of my abusers and walked away from them, however these people are so clever, I ended up with 2 who would play each other off against me. When one finally was gone I thought I was done with it all. That no more was it going to happen, that I'd rid myself of all of them, not realising the one I had left was equally as bad, just in a different way. I've suffered verbal, physical and mental abuse at the hands of many different people over the years, and I made excuses for each and every one of them when it came to their behaviour. They were having a bad day; they didn't know any better because they'd not been taught right-from-wrong. They loved me, they wanted the best for me; I felt sorry for them because they'd lost their way. You name it, I could have come up with an excuse for them. I would say the most pathetic part is that I couldn't see it, however, it's not pathetic not to see it, in fact it shows how good your heart is. These people are clever, they are manipulators. They will lure you in without you even realising you've been lured in, but watch when it all begins to fall apart. Be aware when it finally begins to unravel because that's when they really show their true colours. If you're one of the lucky ones, as I was, they'll just move onto their next victim who they will convince you were to blame for the relationship you have with them disintegrating (whether that be romantic, work or friend based). When you start to take a little bit of their control away from them they will do whatever they can to poison other's against you; they'll do this in the hope it will draw you further into their web, they will be your protector. When that doesn't happen they will set out to destroy you in whichever way they can. If you're lucky, like I have been, they'll just try to destroy your other friendships/relationships and credibility. If, like Gabby (if that is what has happened) they may well take your life from you.
Unless you are an abuser yourself, the second, and I mean the very split second, you find yourself apologising for someone else's behaviour towards you, or you blame yourself for how badly they have treated you (physically or mentally) you walk away, because you are then an abusee and nobody deserves that. Never let someone treat you in any way other than with the utmost respect and make an excuse, or apology for them treating you like it.
There is help out there. Call 0808 2000 247, or check out the National Abuse Website for links to message someone. You can find that by Clicking Here