Tuesday, 27 February 2018

Sorry, not sorry

Or should that be "not sorry"?

The other day (Valentines Day to be exact - actually it's over a week away now; how on earth does time fly by so quickly?) I realised how often I say to people "Sorry" or "I'm so sorry" when I'm not sorry at all. A prime example of this was on Valentines Day when I found myself constantly saying to customers (99% of which were men) "I'm so sorry I don't have any left" along with "Sorry, it's been so busy they've all gone". What I really wanted to say was "Wah hooo; I've had one of my best trading days ever, have sold out of everything - including all the extras I ordered - and if I don't have what you want then tough shit; you should have thought about it sooner". It's not as though there isn't enough warning the day is coming. Since the first week of January shops were plastered in red hearts, supermarkets had row-upon-row of red teddies and cards with red envelopes. Every other TV advert had been for one of those shitty online companies advertising their wares for the day, yet there they were, coming through the door at 4.30 pm on the day and I was apologising for my mind reading powers not working; had they been I am sure I would have made sure I had enough to get them out of trouble. What kind of woman would want to be with such a man is beyond me. 

Don't get me wrong, I wasn't sorry to all of them. One of them did get told to "stop wasting my time and go the supermarket over the road". Not very professional of me, not the kind of thing I should be saying in the shop, but by the time he came in whining about me having nothing left, I had just about reached my point-of-no-return. It's not my fault he wasn't better organised. I honestly didn't care what shit he was going to be in when he got home; not my problem. It was speaking to him the way I did which made me realise just how often I had earlier been "sorry". 

I do it all the time. My letters to the vets (I've had replies) who I was registering complaints with I was still polite too; in fact at one point I stated "I'm sorry to do this". Why was I sorry? They'd put me and my dog through 3 months of hell. Why on earth was I the one saying "Sorry?". She's been gone 9 now and I can still see her little face when I had to walk away and leave her to die, yet there I was, saying sorry to them for registering a complaint about the disgusting treatment she (and I) had received. No wonder so many people have been able to weedle their way into my life and treat me the way they have. I must be one of the saddest 'sad sacks' they've come across. Jeez; sometimes being brought up to be a decent member of society is not as good as it's cracked up to be.

This does't mean I'm going to become someone I'm not. When I do something wrong, then, of course, I will apologise, as it is only right to do so. I'm just not doing it when I've done no wrong. 

Not that I was such a walk over yesterday; oh no. I even surprised myself. I actually told someone when I saw her face-to-face, who had been exceptionally rude to me over the phone (when it was feck all to do with her and there was no reason for anyone to speak to someone else the way she spoke to me) that if I'd not been in work and behaving in the way a professional business woman should, and had she spoken to me outside of work the way she did, that she would have been walking around with a broken jaw right now. I was livid, and I seriously do believe if I'd not been at work, and she'd spoken to me like it outside I really would have smacked her one, and I am not that kind of person. Maybe this worm does finally have the ability to turn. I'm not going to go out of my way to be confrontational, but I am definitely going to try and stop being so sorry about everything :) I surely need to start telling more people to "kiss my ass".

One person who might be sorry he's pissed me off is a local councillor. He's this huge bumbling buffoon of a man, who reminds me a little bit of the guy from Minions, although facially he resembles that father cartoon character from Family Guy - I think his name is Peter Griffin? So put his head, on the minions guy's body and you have a pretty accurate idea of what this councillor person looks like. As with most people who sit on local councils, he does not give a shit about anything but furthering his own career and how much money he can make. The corruption and backhanders that go on in our ward are rife. Everyone knows about them yet nobody is brave enough to take them on.

My little shop is tucked away off a main road in a parade of 4 buildings, which house 5 businesses. Out the front we have just enough parking spaces for 3 cars. Around the corner and across a main road is another larger parade of shops with enough spaces for each business to park 5 cars; these spaces though are time restricted. We also have a doctors surgery (who have a massive car park) yet the staff from there park 2 cars in such a way out the front of our businesses they take up all 3 spaces. We've tried asking them if they'd mind parking further up the road (where there are always spaces when they arrive) to be told there are no restrictions so they can park where they want; one nurse went so far as to tell us to "fuck off". That's just the kind of person I'd want dressing the wounds of my elderly relation - not. The other side of the road to us is waste ground which the council have been trying to build houses on for years. This land address is that of the main road around the corner, yet they want to bring 2 roads out of it into our road - which already suffers heavy congestion. There is not enough space for parking on the other side of the road. 

For 8 years we have been asking the council if we can have restricted 4 hour parking outside - with such a restriction in place it would mean our customers (of which my neighbour has many not-so-able-bodied) would actually have chance of being able to park to visit our businesses. Once, I was told if we were to pay £5000 then there was a possibility we could moved higher up the list and then we'd need to fund it ourselves (as I've said, backhanders and corruption - surely the £5000 should be enough to fund it? In fact the buffoon told me it shouldn't cost more than a couple of hundred). The newest plans for the flats over the road were going through towards the end of last year; I registered an objection on the basis that there are already not enough parking spaces (of which this councillor has gone on record as attesting too - more than once) and the plans don't include enough spaces for the properties they want to build which his just going to add to the issue. This buffoon of a man had the front to come into my shop to try to intimidate me into withdrawing my objection. He is about 18 inches taller than I am, was looming over me, telling me I was wrong and that there is not a parking issue; when I pointed out he has previously stated on 2 occasions there was, he told me that I was wrong, he'd never said that. I asked him then whether he was lying to me while stood in front of me, or if he'd lied on record before because what he was telling me was different to what he'd previously said and all he kept saying was "there isn't an issue". Before he left my shop (I do not back down to intimidating creepy men - he really does have that creepy lecherous feel about him) he assured me he would raise all of my concerns at the meeting to decide about the flats, and that he would get the developers to agree to cover the costs for us to have the restricted parking set up and enforced; he also assured me their vehicles will not be parked out the front of our businesses. He never uttered a single word about us or our concerns at the meeting. My neighbour and I decided at that point, once the building work starts, every single time a work van, lorry or truck is to park out the front of the shops we would be on the phone to him, registering our complaints, for every single one. Even if that means one pulls up, stays 10 minutes, leaves and another turns up; we'll contact him for each individual vehicle. He told me our local council have a duty-of-care to all small business owners in our town, where they guarantee to put our needs to the forefront. The man is a liar. They don't give a flying fudge about any of us. They don't make enough money from us, and we have already refused in the past to commit to a bribe, so I will now become the biggest thorn in his side. I am sick of "playing nice" to people. Today such works vehicles turned up - however, we have given him a reprieve as we spoke to the driver of the guy parking outside, who not only offered to move (nice guy) also told us he was only here for the day, so for now we're letting 'sleeping-dogs-lie'. There is a time and a place for everything.

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