Who needs sleep, anyway?

I do, I really do, however, last night it didn't (wasn't ever going to) happen.

My dog decided it has been 2 weeks since she last gave us a scare, and it so it was time to let us know who's in charge (not us, that's for sure). On Friday night she'd been a bit 'iffy' and at one point was acting as though she wanted to be sick. Multiple tummy rubs took place, trying to help her shift whatever was causing her an issue, all to no avail. Eventually she settled down for the night and was snoring loudly in bed when I went up. 

She'd started a new pack of antibiotics on Thursday - we had a checkup at her usual vets and she was given a good bill of health (all things considered). I was also told their was no sign of any heart murmur which would mean there was no further buildup of fluid in, or around, her heart; this gave me hope - although I am still aware the CT Scan at the end of the month could well still prove the lesion in her lung to be cancer, so I have hope, but don't want to get carried away. I had to get a repeat prescription for her pills and was given a different one - it has the same ingredients so I assumed all is ok with them. The vet said her heart rate was a little higher than she would have liked, however, the dog hates the car, hates the vets, so it was put down to stress. 

On Friday I realised I was out of the food she's been having since she got home (the same one the vet uses). I had it on order, not arriving until Saturday though. I still had some tins of food left from before so gave her half of one of those and a fresh chicken breast. I assumed the combination of food and pills were what had caused her sicky episode (she wasn't sick though).

Yesterday when I got home from work, she greeted me but nowhere near as excitedly as usual. Normally 5 minutes after getting home she is bouncing around waiting to go for her walk; when I grabbed her lead she very nonchalantly made her way to me. During her walk she was very disinterested, and this got alarm bells ringing, for the weekend before she ended up at the vets she behaved in the same way. Her tummy also looked bloated to me (another thing she had wrong). I then got myself bang on one it meant the fluid had built back up in her heart and I was going to have to whip her to the vets - I also got on one that I do not have the funds for her to have another heart drain put in. My Mum though, kept telling me "Not to worry". She'd do that anyway, even if she was worried herself. She also told me the dog was just "constipated". When I pointed out she told me the same thing last time, she soon began to also think something was wrong. Especially when the dog's breathing became a lot faster than it had been (we have an app the vet told us about to use for keeping track). 

I wanted to believe my Mum, but everything was telling me I was right and her heart had filled back up - I did find it odd it would happen so quickly and that if there was an issue the vet should have noticed something. I spent my whole evening checking her, working out where I was going to raise the funds, and wondering if I phone the vets when they open, or just turn up and be on their doorstep when they did?). I was awake all night, constantly checking her breathing, worrying, getting angrier by the second (I was so angry at the universe that it would put her through all she went through the other week, to then make her go through it again - sometimes, I hate how evil and wicked life can be). Several times during the night she went out for a wee - she'd not pooped since a tiny little pebble size one yesterday lunchtime - she normally poops 3/4 times a day. I wanted to believe my Mum was right, while knowing every single sign was the same as the other weekend. 

Then at 8, just as I stepped out the shower, Mum shouted up to me that the dog had just had a poop - I began to hope. By the time I got down, ready to harness her up, put her in the car and drive to the vet's she had perked up a bit. So-much-so I decided I'd give her another hour to see if there was any change. At 09:10 I moved her lead from the side where I'd popped it yesterday and before I knew what was going on she was there, waiting for me to slip her collar on and take her out, which is what I did. She then did another huge poop (the smell made me gag) and while she wasn't charging around like a loonie, she trotted along next to me for the whole walk. Upon arriving home she was plodding a bit (I have to remind myself she has either lung cancer or pneumonia) but she was still alert, and the bloating around her tummy had more than halved. The relief I feel is not explainable, for it would appear my Mum may have been correct after all, and it could have just been a bit of constipation - I so hope that is the case. Her breathing is still quite quick, and she needs to be steamed (this is done every day and helps with her breathing) but I definitely don't need to be whizzing her off to the vets, today. 

I don't want to get too carried away that she's ok, and possibly on-the-mend, because her breathing is still too shallow, but I certainly feel a lot happier about things now, than I did in the early hours of the morning. I honestly thought I would be having to have her put-to-sleep today and I am definitely not ready for that. 

I love her dearly and would not swap her for the world, but when her time finally comes (hopefully not for another 3/4 years) I will never have another dog. This stress and worry is too much to bear.