Thursday, 12 October 2017


Isn't it amazing what a difference a good nights sleep can make? 

With all that has been going on in my life the past few weeks, sleep has been something which has not been a friend to me. If I've managed a whole hour without interuption I've considered it to be a good night. However, the night before last I got 4 hours in one go and last night I got 7. Seven whole hours. They weren't in one go - a woman of my age will often feel the need to pee during the night, yet I literally dragged myself from bed to bathroom and back again, whereupon my head hit the pillow and I was away the fairies (actually, I was away with a certain member of the male species, but there are somethings a 'laydee' doesn't share!!) 

As a result of these 2 exceptionally good nights (7 hours is a lot of me; I usually average 5/6) my productivity rate increased 10 fold. Yesterday I managed to get loads done, caught up on business paperwork, drew up draft letters for things I have coming up in the not-too-distant-future. I got some tidying and cleaning done (at work) and phoned all the people on the list I've been making, who I should really have phoned long before now. I've also come up with some good ideas to take my business forward, although as yet my brain hasn't quite worked out how it's going to put such things into practice - I'm sure I can bounce them off others and between us we'll make a plan. 

What has brought about this turn of events? In short, my dog. 

It would appear I was correct about the pills she was on being the cause of the stress and worry we've been experiencing with her since last Friday, for she has picked up considerably. This has also given me a bigger reason to hope, for I believe if it was, in fact, cancer, the pills would not have such an effect, for I am sure antibiotics do not fix cancer? I could be wrong, however, I know they can aid in the recovery of pneumonia. Until she has her next scan in a fortnight's time, I will be none-the-wiser and my hopes could all come crashing down on me again, but for now I will take whatever little glimmer I can get. Don't get me wrong, her tummy is still quite bloated which last time indicated the fluid in her heart, however the difference in her in just 24 hours since changing the pills has been immense. 

Maybe, just maybe, there is also something in this Reiki ! 

I'm a very sceptical, wannabe believer of all things spiritual. I want to believe in ghosts - am sure I've seen several - yet tell myself it's my imagination. I want to believe that the 'spirit guide' I am meant to have, is in fact real, but I just can't bring myself to believe it (I certainly didn't expect to be told once that Henry VIII is one of my guides - I know, go figure; I get a fat syphilitic despiser of women - hmmm... now that I think about it!!!) 

Had I not run out of the class I was taking which was for training mediums (I can't knock these things if I've not tried them) I would have progressed onto a healing course. One thing with my brother and I (him moreso than me) is that we always have hot hands. It is very rare for my hands to get cold (don't get me wrong in minus temperatures if I'm not wearing gloves my fingers can turn to ice) yet for the most part the palms of my hands are always warm. Because of this many people have told me I should turn to healing, yet to do so would mean I have to believe in it all, so I end up going round and round in circles. This week though, I decided that I have nothing left to lose when it comes to my dog. Anything I can try to help her, I will do, so I've had a chat with a Reiki master I know, scoured through some of the books I have that people have bought me on such things and I've given-it-a-go.

One of the hardest things for me when it comes to anything like Reiki, Mediumship, Healing, and Meditation is visualisation. I can have the most phenomenally realistic dreams, yet have never been able to visualise things in my waking mind. The whole "see yourself standing in a forest" or "on the edge of a river" or even "climbing down some steps" has never been something I find easy. Sometimes when I've tried, I might have been able to see the steps if I concentrate really hard, but I think my own doubting psyche tends to put a block on such things (it's why I can't be hypnotised). To be able to heal with one's hand, you have to be able to visualise. I tried on Monday night when I went to bed (the dog was snoring next to me) and while I felt that I was doing something, I couldn't visualise anything. I mentioned to my Mum that maybe she should try (she could definitely contact spirits and the like if there really is such a thing) and she said she'd give anything a go, even though she believes in it all less than I do. She's not tried yet (I asked her this morning) but last night I tried again, and oh my goodness, I was able to see light. 

Now, from what I've been told you should visualise a white light for healing, but I personally have always favoured a blue light, so when I was able to see both colours side-by-side I really felt as though something magical was happening. Even more so when later (this bit is going to sound totally crazy to some of you) I could see tiny little angels (which looked very alien-like) in the same white and blue light, dancing around inside my dog's heart and lungs, almost as if they were working on fixing her. I can only assume I'd fallen asleep for the notion it was real would mean I have quite possibly lost the plot (the lack of sleep in recent weeks could also have had something to do with it). Now though, my dog has perked up, and she'd only had 1 of the new pills by the time I saw the light, and she perked up, so my little pea-brain is beginning to question everything again, this time though, in a far more favourable light than before.

I'm sure there are some of you reading this now thinking "Poor, crazy, delusional woman" and you may well be right, but I will take whatever I can get right now, and put all my effort into believing between the pills and my trying alternative healing, I get to keep my dog in my life for another 3 years. Don't knock it if you haven't tried it :)

The world this morning is definitely a little brighter than it was yesterday. There is even a gorgeous blue sky out there today.

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