Friday, 15 September 2017


Ha, now I bet that got the attention of some of you. 

Sorry, I did try to think of other ways to title this entry, and the only one I kept coming up with, was, Penis, because in a way that's kind of what I am going to talk about - look away now if you are offended easily, or you get easily embarrassed by such things. 

What I want to know is this: Why do men seem to think that we want them to send us photo's of their Penises (should that be Peni? or Penisses?) I guess I could have used, Willy, Johnson, Dick, Manhood, Member or Kroll the warrior king (if you've seen the movie, that last one will make sense :) ). I chose Penis, as that is it's "official name". So, why do they feel the need to do such a thing?

I'm not on any dating sites, I have no intention of joining any. It's bad enough meeting people in the "real world" trying to figure out if they are genuine, or not. Meeting them via a dating site is just asking for trouble. I worked with a girl once who was on many, and at that time I did sign up to one (not because I was looking, for I was with someone, but she desperately wanted too, kept on and on and on and on about doing it, while never plucking up the courage, so I joined to show her that it didn't really take any courage at all - my man at the time knew all about it and my reasons for doing so - I don't believe in secrets). I did have a nose around the site (it seemed rude not to when I'd had to answer so many bloody questions to get there in the first place) and while it was easy to spot a lot of the "fake" profiles (mostly those who called themselves Capt Frank, or Lieutenant Jones, or the ones whose photo's could only have come from a catalogue) there were many others who appeared in every way to be "normal" guys. My work mate found to her detriment, on many occasions, these guys were anything but "normal". I've heard of that one called "Tinder" where you swipe by if you don't like the look of someone - is that how it works?. Don't get me wrong, I am often as shallow as the next person, but to dismiss someone purely because their photo doesn't grab you at that moment, just seems so wrong to me. What if the person you have dismissed is actually the perfect match for you in every other way? Let me show you what I mean.

If I was to join a dating site, I'd choose certain photo's I felt happy with. Like the ones below. All have been taken in the past year - one of them taken about 10 minutes ago, purely for the purpose of this.

Now, there's a chance some guy flicking through Tinder is going to see those, like the look of one of them, hit whatever it is you need to hit on there to go through to my profile, where I will have shared more like these - ones I feel happy with, that actually make me look semi-good - really, I am the most unphotogenic person on this planet. We may strike up a conversation, we may feel as if we are getting to know each other; we may even decide it's that time - "Time to meet". This guy has been chatting to the above version of me for a while, has got to know me, maybe he's even fallen a little bit in love with me. Then he meets me - the "real me". Have a look below to see her (photos' taken on the August bank holiday weekend, or just now in the shop).

Ok, so underneath I am still the same person; still the woman he has spent his time getting to know, yet in reality I am nothing like the woman he has seen, he has imagined. He'd probably never have bothered to click on me if he'd seen the bottom photo's. He might think that a shame after, because he's spent the time getting to know me, but he'd have never known, for he'd have gone on the top photo's only and swiped me whichever way he needed to, so as to ensure he didn't have to contact me.

I am aware this doesn't seem to have much to do with men sharing photo's of their bits, or at least it seems as though it doesn't. I think by the time I finish you will understand where I am going with it all and the point I am trying to make.

You see, you will also get the guys who will have seen the top set of photo's, and they will be the ones who ask for your number so they can text you, and that's when it starts (not that I ever give my number out to anyone, so not sure why I'm using that as an analogy; it just works in the same way and I know the friend who is on the dating sites has these issues). These guys don't even hang about with any "Hello, how are you?" they send you a message on the dating site, make out they are interested, and more importantly they make out they are sincere, and before you know it, you're giving them your personal details, and they're sending you photo's of their Penis. When you mention you've not asked them to do such a thing, they either call you names, or delete you straight away. Why do these men think that's what we want to see? Even if a woman is just after casual sex, I'm sure she'd rather see the guy with his clothes on first? Or is that just me?

I have Snapchat (as I believe I may have mentioned .. haha). I actually have 2. One that is just for friends and family, one I use to run alongside my social media bits and pieces. I accept anyone who adds me on the public one; of the 37 people who added me last week, just one has been kept. The other's all got deleted and reported, because no sooner had I accepted their request, so they started sharing photo's of their penis with me. I've seen every shape, colour and size you can imagine; not one of them has been of any interest to me, whatsoever.

I know that male and female brains work differently; I know that there are some females out there who will happily accept those kind of photos. I am not one of them. They have had to come across one of my social media sites to get my Snapchat details in the first place; you'd think they'd have realised the kind of person I am when they stumbled upon me. What if they've just randomly picked a name out of the hat, and found me that way? What if I was a kid they've just added and they started to send those kind of photo's? Is that really what men think of women? I'm going to say, that sadly, I think with many, it is.

I'm saying I think it is,  because I have recently had 2 guys from my past reconnect with me. People I've known, spent time with; people who knew me when I was younger, who know me now. People who have opened up to me about their lives, shared their experiences with me. People who suddenly seem to think because we've shared some "moments" it's now appropriate to share intimate photo's of themselves with me. It's really not, they have been told it's not. I just don't understand why they would think it ok to do such a thing? These are people I've known 30 years, or more. What annoys me about it even more, is that both of them are also married. It's bad enough they thought it ok to do so in the first place, to do it when they have wives who love them, put up with them, share the responsibility of raising their children with them, is utterly unacceptable.

So, I guess what I'm trying to say is this "Guys, keep your pecker tucked safely away". We do not need you to be sharing it around so freely. If you want to share any photo's with me, make them of trees, mountains, sunsets, or funny selfies - a photo of your penis does absolutely nothing for me. 

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