Monday, 31 July 2017

Spanner in the works

I actually sat down here to complain (I know, so very unusual!!!) about 2 different things, both of which were caused by people who think they know-it-all and have holier-than-thou attitudes; however, one of them has just done something completely out-of-the-blue and totally unexpected meaning I can no longer say what I had planned to say about them (don't you hate it when that happens?). Besides, it won't be long until they do something again so I'll still get to have my say. 

Ooh, ooh; before I get onto the other complaint (only has warranted being left off the list today) I need to let you all know that this morning I have received another donation 😁😁 Yay. If just one thousand more people donated the same amount, we'd be on our way - two thousand more and we could upgrade our flights and I could buy the camera lens that would bring my photo's to life (but let's not get too greedy - or carried away just yet; I have a long way to go still, however, it's definitely moving in the right direction 😁😁😁😁)

Back to my complaining - I really do think you will find I am justified in it 😁

I went out with my 'bestie' on Saturday night. I'd just sat down with a glass of wine when he messaged me saying "come out to play". Well, when he asked like that, how could I refuse him? The weather was rank (slinging it down with rain) and it was dark, but we've never let things like that stop us. 20 minutes later the wine had been drunk and I was sitting myself comfortably in his car. Bless him, he hates being cold (really hates it) yet when he looked at me and could see I was having one of my "tropical moments" he put his aircon on, directing all the vents at me; I moan about him most of the time, but there are those 'moments' when he can be quite thoughtful (not many mind, don't go getting too excited!!)  I'm not sure he really had a clue where to go so we found ourselves sitting on the beach half an hour from home - the same one we spent new years eve sitting on. 

On the way there he stopped off to grab himself a takeaway; I waited in the car while he went in, ordered and had to wait for it to be cooked. That's when I made the mistake of opening up facebook - you've guessed it, I committed the ulitimate sin; I bit when a troll crawled out from under her bridge. It's such a stupid thing to do, I knew I shouldn't be doing it, yet there was no way to stop my fingers tapping on the screen. Even worse, it wasn't even on my own page - it was that of a friend (I am hanging my head in shame). 

Earlier in the day my friend had shared a post about the menopause - she's going through it too - and many of us 'of-a-certain-age' had also commented, saying how we agreed with the meme she'd shared. Then came the troll - who is actually the friend-of-a-friend, of my friend (did that make sense?). Anyway, the troll's comment was this.... "Why does everyone go on about how awful menopause is. It doesn't have to be. It can be liberating knowing there will be no more periods, it can be liberating to have mild mood swings. and great knowing when it's over you'll not have to worry about getting pregnant. Haven't you noticed that most women who have amazing careers do it after the menopause. If you eat healthily including seaweed and soy, take plenty of exercise, don't drink too much alcohol then there is no reason that menopause should cause problems."

There I was, sweating like I'd been packed in a sauna for 5 hours the way sardines are packed into their tin. My vision had gone a bit blurry (not from the wine but from the headaches I keep getting). I was having to use a tena lady because sometimes you leak for no bloody reason (sorry guys, if you're reading this... welcome to the world of being a woman if you are; remember if you have a lady in your life she WILL experience menopause - go easy on her when she does, also avoid a bit further down as I went into a fair amount of detail in my reply to her). My left boob was throbbing (always my left; the right one never suffers) my ankles were puffy. I'd popped my 'happy pill' before I left home (they don't stop the random bursting into tears for absolutely no reason, but they do help make it a little more bearable when the tears come). The insects-crawling-under-the-skin itchy feeling had come back on Thursday of last week so I've been dealing with that too, and last night was the first night I've actually slept for more than 3 hours, so I was also feeling a wee bit tired. That's why I couldn't stop myself from replying. This is what I said..... " Wow. Liberating to have mood swings?? Are you actually going through it?? If you are please tell me how to stop them. Also how to stop the incessant itching, the bloating (and I enjoy seaweed) the wanting to rip people's faces off (when I've never been a violent person) the insomnia meaning I'm lucky if I get 60 minutes straight and maybe 3 hours total during the night, the crying for no reason, a face that flares bright red for several hours looking as though I've been sitting with my head in an oven, the delightful discharge there is no control over, periods every 12/15 days that last 2 weeks and cost a small fortune where I'm having to change tampons AND pads every hour or I flood worse than a river bursting it's bank. Please tell me how it's liberating to have a pain in your boob so bad at times it's feel like you're having a heart attack, and how to deal with the constant flatulence. Maybe, just maybe when it's over I'll feel liberated and empowered but right now I wish I was a man. As for women being more successful after the menopause, how insulting are you being to the millions of successful women who have carved out careers for themselves? I'm also deeply insulted about your pregnancy comment when I have been a reject in that department, so menopause won't change that part of my life for me at all. I'm glad you obviously have it so good, but how dare you assume because you do, the rest of us are, and that those of us who are struggling do so because of how we may live our lives. I drink only on a Saturday - and then not often - I take healthy supplements, walk a minimum of 5 miles per day, work my arse off during my working day, never sitting for longer than 20 minutes, all things you seem to think mean it is easy, yet I can assure you it is anything, BUT. People like you with your patronising and condescending attitudes really piss me off. Oh and for the record I was amazing before periods and am amazing during them. Stands to reason I will also be after them."

I know I should have just kept quiet, not said anything, continued on with my evening. I told myself off at the time, and later went back to delete what I'd said because it wasn't on a thread of mine; just as I was about to do so the friend whose page it was on sent me a PM declaring her undying love to me, telling me she'd been wanting to reply but had no clue what to say and thanking me for being the one to have the guts to say something. That made me feel a whole lot better and much more equipped to later on deal with the troll who actually had the front to PM me herself. I'll be honest, part of me admired her courage at messaging me, however, let's just say after my reply to her, she won't be messaging me again. In fact, I'm not sure she'll pass comment on such things again, either. I'm not proud of myself jumping in like I did and normally I would just pass on by, but sometimes keeping quiet is not an option 😁😁😁😁

Thankfully, she didn't ruin my evening, and I got to learn some more camera tricks from my friend - I'd left mine at home but learnt through watching what he was doing - he also explained why he was doing things a certain way. He said he was also impressed with me for I'd noticed something that would make a "cracking shot" that he'd not seen 😁😁😁😁 Sometimes I do get it right. I wished after that I'd taken my camera with me because once the rain stopped the low cloud did make for some spectactular scenery. That'll teach me for next time though!


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