Saturday, 15 July 2017

My Mum :)

is an amazing woman.

My brother and I had a Dad, a great Dad, a hard-working man who did all he could to provide for his family; this meant though, that he often started work before we awoke each morning, arriving home after we had gone to bed each night - he did this 7 day's a week. So, my Mum basically brought us up on her own. She didn't do a bad job 😁😁 When my Dad died she was just 47 years old - the age I am now. She was left with deep debts (Dad, hadn't been able to work for the 18 months he was ill) and a 14 year old son, still at school, reliant on his Mum to provide for him. She had no money, had to work her arse off to provide - she never once asked anyone for help; that's the amazing woman she is. She kept a roof over our heads (I was still living at home then and helped out where I could). She made sure there was always food in the cupboards - too much sometimes!! She's there for us no matter what.

She could have been a completely different woman. Her upbringing was hard, her mother an evil bitch (evil with a Capital E). Her brother-thing is a waste of space and an absolute arse - thankfully she doesn't see him any more. Her Mum was in her 30's when she had her (the youngest of 7 - my Nan, not Mum) and they lived in the family home with her parents, so my Mum was brought up in a Victorian household, with a grandfather who didn't like girls (my Nan didn't like girls either). How my Mum turned out to be such a loving, kind and thoughtful person, is beyond me.

Obviously, the photo below is not of my Mum; however, add a few wrinkles and some white hair and you could well be staring at one of her - I always thought I was more like my Dad, until I saw this photo 😁😁 😁😁

These days she's a short, little white haired "old lady" (she'll kill me for that) who always has a smile and "hello" for anyone she passes in the street - unless she doesn't like you. The woman (a neighbour over the road) who hit her car a few years back, who then drove off without telling her certainly doesn't get a smile any more (someone witnessed her doing it so left a note on Mum's car which is why she knew). The woman who hit her had the nerve to come over and have a go at my Mum telling her "I never damaged it so didn't need to tell you". It's a good job I never heard her say that, because it would probably have been the last thing she said. My Mum though, being the nice person she is, let it ride.

She does that a lot. She's kind, thoughtful and way-too-considerate to others needs, way more than any person should be. Whilst the law on noise states not making any between 11pm - 7am, my brother and I were always told to be quiet until after 8am and after 9pm (that has changed in recent years as her ears aren't quite what they used to be so she does push the TV noise up until 11pm - however, dot on 11 the volume is turned back down. Sadly we appear to be the only people in the area who think that way. One of our neighbours thinks it's ok to let her dogs out, barking (4 of them, barking) at 6am - every single day (I am going to rip her apart one day). Other's (including her when her kids were younger) think it's ok to let their kids out screaming and screeching all hours of the day from before 7 some mornings (I am not a morning person so being woken up before my alarm pisses me off) but Mum asks me not to say anything; that's the person she is. She doesn't like to upset people, she doesn't like to create issues. She says it's sometimes "better to just keep quiet".

One of our previous neighbours put his fence in our garden - the post is still there - she let it ride. There's a wall there now whose support posts are in her garden, she's said nothing - the fault of the people building it, not our neighbours. The other side built his whole front wall in our garden - she said nothing. Both have such thick and wide foundations she can't plant anything close to the edge, for there's not enough soil. The most recent one trampled all over a plant that was her Grandmothers (my great-grandmothers) killing it, along with a clematis she'd had growing since before my Dad died, 24 years ago. No apology was made for killing these plants, which can be easily replaced, but held such sentimental value. Still, Mum said nothing (it's better to "just keep quiet"). People shit on her from great heights all over and it winds me up like you wouldn't believe, but because she taught me about respect, I keep quiet - for her sake. Drives me crazy I'm the only who actually thinks about 'her sake' though.

Our nicer neighbours had some guy putting a fence up out the front of their house a while back. He was not only rude to my Mum, he ripped out half her plants (from her own garden) and left all the rubbish from when he'd finished, dumped in her garden. She never said a word because she thought he was a friend of our neighbour and didn't want to upset them; it didn't matter that she'd been upset. It's a good job I never saw him. I'd not have kept quiet on that one.

She did allow me to finally say something to our neighbour who felt it was their right to use our fence (the one we've not long paid to replace) as their wicket and goal area for when they are playing cricket and football in their garden. They have a massive garden with plenty of space but would always use our fence; they would also have their BBQ right next to it to, sending their smoke billowing into our house if we had the door and windows open (which we all do when we have the weather for a BBQ). They also never bother to let anyone know; both ourselves and our neighbour the other side will let people know so they can take in any washing they may have out. This one particular day they had been playing for several hours; the constant 'thud, smack and bang' against our new fence panels was annoying enough (it also terrifies the dog) but when they disturbed my from an F1 race I was watching, for the 5th time, asking for their ball back, they were told if it came over again they'd have to make do without it. He thought I was joking, until he looked at my face and heard me say again "If your ball comes in our garden again, it's going in the bin; if you knock on my door and disturb me again it will be the last thing you do, and if your BBQ smoke goes anywhere near my windows I will get the hose out and douse your flames". They've never had it our side since. I hated saying it because as I've explained I always got told, it's easier "to keep quiet" but sometimes easier is not always best. They did get me back with their sprinkler once though; I make a point when I hose the garden each evening to keep the hose low. I don't want the water going over the the walls/fences of either side in case they have washing out, or soft furnishings on their garden furniture they don't want to get wet. They, however, set their sprinkler next to our fence and my line of dry washing I was about to get in, ended up wetter than when it went out there.

I know it's the way of the world these days. People think only about themselves, have no consideration for others, and will walk all over those who like  to keep quiet"

However, do not be fooled. She may be this lovely, quiet, meek, little 'old lady', but god help the person who crosses her when it comes to me, my brother or the dog - especially the dog 😁 She tried getting out of my car as I was doing 40 on a roundabout once because we saw my ex (the one who stitched me up so bad over 20 years ago that I'm still paying for the debt he left). She's seen him twice since, at his mothers funeral, the and at his sisters wedding (I was her maid-of-honour, he was giving her away) I could see how hard it was for my Mum to keep it together. She wanted to get hold of him and rip his head off his shoulders; out of respect to his Mum and sister (who was my best friend) she said nothing. She seethed quietly, yet said nothing. I dread to think what it's going to be like for him if she does ever see him and we're not at a funeral or wedding. When she lets go and gets going, she is a formidable force to be reckoned with.

Then there was last night - ooh, no, I need to go back to last year first, as it's the first time (other than when it came to my ex) that I've actually seen my Mum kick ass. We were on our way back to the car from a lovely walk in the dogs favourite woods, when a man walked by us with 2 dogs he had no control over. One of them went for Myrtle (luckily I was able to move at lightning speed - I didn't know I could move so fast - getting between them before it could do any damage). I was about to tell him to "get them under control" when the little 'pocket-rocket' which is my Mum, was on him ready to beat the crap out of him. I was back at the car and she was still hurling abuse at him; at one point I'm sure I even saw her raise her fist. As I've said, when it comes to the dog, god help anyone that causes an issue.

This is where last night comes in - what a long-winded load of waffle this is!!! We have a woman who lives a few doors up from us. She runs a business from home and seems to think she owns the place. We have a green out the front of our houses; she has her customers driving up and down it to collect stuff (it's a grass area where kids can safely play, it's not for cars). I often have to wait for cars and vans to move from the back of the houses (meaning I can't get to the back of mine) while they dump them anywhere without a single thought about how they are blocking access to go and do business with her; she says nothing to them and acts as if it's her "right" and the rest of the people living where we do, should just keep quiet. She also has these 2 dogs - noisy, yapping, pain-in-the-arse things. She uses the green out the front as their personal play area (I had to point out once her dog had crapped by a tree). She was going to walk away and leave it. Apparently because it was at the base of a tree it didn't matter - hmmm... kids don't climb trees or sit against their trunks at the base? One of her dogs is just awful (and I hate to say that about an animal). She never has it on a lead but it hates other dogs when they are on leads, so if you see her out you have to keep your dog away from hers (yes, I am aware it should be her keeping her dogs away from other peoples). Last night on our dog walk we went by her house. Suddenly, the awful dog, was hanging over her wall (I actually thought it was going to jump over) and it was going for it, barking, snarling and baring it's teeth (had it actually jumped over I think there could have been carnage). I grabbed my dog pulling her away quickly, keeping walking (just-in-case). Not Mum, though; oh no. She kicked off. The woman wouldn't come out of her house so she's not finished with her yet, and I dread to think what she's going to say when she sees her next. I think anyone around who witnessed her anger last night (she wasn't quiet in her venting) will have definitely been quite intimidated, and seen the woman who's lived in the same house for over 50 years and never been heard to say "boo" to a goose before, in a totally different light now. I only hope I'm around to keep her under control when they do come face-to-face; there will be no "just keep quiet" at that moment.  

In essence, today's lesson is - never underestimate the little white haired "old lady".

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