I was doing it all wrong

The above subject line could actually amount to so many different parts of my life right now 😂 However, for the purpose of this blog entry I'm talking about Slimming World - this could well explain why I never lost any last week. It also means I was extremely lucky to do so well the previous 2 weeks. I know where I went wrong and also how I went wrong so am hoping it means now that I am back on track doing it right I will lose again when I hop on the scales Sunday morning. I did consider having a sneaky peek this morning but was worried it might depress me too much and as I am in an extremely good mood I don't want to run the risk of upsetting myself :) I wasn't bad in the sense that I was eating things I shouldn't - it's been soooooo long since I had cheese, crisps, wine or a biscuit - I just thought brown bread was free but it's only wholemeal which is so I didn't go over what I should have been having (which is why I guess I didn't put on) but I wasn't as good as I could have been had I been doing it right. Never mind. This life is all about living and learning :) 

I also think I am wrong to write this blog under my name. It's not really something that is going to be searched for and while I am getting a lot of looks I'm sure if I could come up with something that people may search for or that might get a bit more attention then it could potentially lead to me finding people who are willing to donate. The trouble with that is while it is a great idea in principal most people have already taken the good domains that could work. I did consider 'fundle me' as it's the name I use for my twitter and tumblr - a play on words - but who is really going to search for such a thing? If I changed it to Fondle Me which I could do I can only imagine the kind of people that I may come across and as I want them to donate to me they will need to know my real name - it's on the donation forms - and that can lead to all kinds of issues. Then again maybe just sticking to who I am is the best way to go. Maybe by having a different name I'm less likely to find someone willing for if I'm not being truly honest about who I am then why would they want to bother making an effort to help me out?

Just had an email from the guys whose internet I am to connect to at the shop telling me it's going to be slow until Friday as we've gone over our limit. I questioned this as they are hardly ever here any more and I don't use their internet for anything other than work - all my personal stuff I tether to my phone allowance. Turns out it's the new security camera we have that connects to the wifi. Luckily we have several more so if something was to happen I'd be covered but for years I've been telling them we need to be on unlimited (I've offered to pay the extra) now they are going to have to do so for I am not having a camera in the shop that I can't have running. Thankfully I get 30gb per month to tether to on my phone plan - I really hope they never change that for me, or I'll be stuffed :) I don't tether to mine purely for that reason though. I started doing it when the office guys would check what websites I was visiting. I caught someone once reading my personal emails (I didn't think I needed to log off every time I left the room). After that I never connected any of my devices to their network again and I password everything as well as closing everything down when I leave the room. It's annoying having to type my password each and every time I sit down to do something but not as annoying as knowing he was reading all my personal stuff. The best part was when he tried to deny it and said he was "just going to look something up and was about to open a new tab". I'd stood there for a good 4 or  minutes watching him open one email, read it, close it down, open another and so on. I've not really got a problem with it for I don't do anything at work that I want to keep private but I figured if he was able to access my emails and bits during the day at work then he could possibly do the same at night. I did come in a few mornings and the shop's computer was running, and I shut it down every night so that made me even more wary about what I do on it.

Ooh; I had a bit of a splurge - nothing major for I don't have the money to go overboard, but the cottage my friend is taking me to for the week has a heated indoor pool that is solely for our use. It's been 14 years since I last went into a pool (except when the kids pushed me into their paddling pool) and I don't think the swimsuit I had back then will fit me now so I treated myself to a new one. I'd not get my body out in public for at least another year but with my friend it doesn't matter in the slightest how I look. That still didn't stop me from getting one with tummy control and a skirt around though!! The worst thing with anything like that though is that they automatically assume anyone who is over a size 10 obviously have big boobs to go with their bigger body. That is NOT the case in my world. My boobs have stayed the same size since I was 9 years old. My body grew around them. An old friend of mine used to laugh at me about it. He did say though that if they had grown at the same rate and ratio as my body I'd never be able to move. Not sure if that was an insult or backhanded compliment!! :) The worst thing about it is that in order to get them not to dig into my back giving me all that hanging back fat a lot of people get I have to buy a larger cup size. There's not really much point in me wearing a bra in that sense because I'm getting no support but even though mine are tiny gravity has taken hold and if I go bra-less then people can see I have 2 little hanging sacks of fat where boobs should be. I really shouldn't have let myself get so big!! It does make me laugh though because if you follow the rules of how bra sizes are worked I would be a G cup yet I can't even fill a B. Go figure that one out if you can. Life will definitely be a lot easier when I'm back to the weight I should be, that's for sure :0) And the good thing is I can take in the swimsuit so I don't have to buy another when I head off on the road trip :)  See, method in my madness.

Alas, it is not me modelling the swimsuit I have bought in the photo below - if only :) I bought it from Simply Be if anyone is interested :)