Not because I've not raised the funds I need yet - that WILL come. I am disappointed because I was so very good last week with my eating, yet somehow I managed to lose not even so much as an ounce. Don't get me wrong, I didn't put any on, but to not lose anything left me feeling very deflated yesterday. I think I was so excited by the massive amount I lost last week I was hoping it would be the same again this week. Alas, it was not to be :) That doesn't mean I am giving up though, oh no. In fact it was my Mum who said to me when I was whining to her about it that I normally put on in week 3 so should be happy I stayed the same and didn't add any. She made a most excellent point :) That doesn't mean I'm happy about it especially as I've upped the exercise and spent 4 hours Saturday afternoon/evening gardening.

One good thing about yesterday was when I found the diary I kept when I went out to west coast America in 1996. Aside from all the stuff we got to see and things we did, I found it interesting to see how I was as a person back then. I've put some quite personal bits and pieces in there too. I could see how much I've changed as a person since back then. How much more confident I am now, how I think about things differently and have an outlook on life I never thought I would have. I'm going to type up the bits I'm happy to share, as I did with my flying trip back in 2014 and I'll post it with some of the photo's from back then too. That's another thing I noticed. At the time I thought the photo's we'd taken were good - and they were for a little point-and-shoot camera, but looking at them yesterday I could see just how awful they were/are. I'd say I'll go back one day and re-take them but as much as I loved the areas and America in general I've never wanted to go back to those places. Seen them, done them. It's not like the yearning I have to go and visit the places I've been telling you all about although I do have a cousin in San Francisco so could be tempted to go back and take some shots of the Golden Gate Bridge - proper ones this time. Aside from that though I don't think I would go back - except to Bryce Canyon. I'd go there any day. Stunning place. Hawaii was great too but I think we went at the right time as I see things about it these days and it appears far more commercial. We had an amazing time there that I don't think could be improved by going back; some things need to stay just as they are just as some things need to be revisited. Some places make such a mark on you/your life they have to be properly explored. That's how I feel about the mid-west trip I want to do. I believe I left a little piece of me out there and until I get back I won't be the 'whole' person I was. Actually I'm not entirely sure I was whole before. I think being out there made me realise that, to then leave a piece of me there left me less whole then I was to begin with. Some might say it won't matter how many times I get out there I will never find the missing pieces - they could be right - but unless I go I will never know for sure. Once I'll come back I'm sure I shall tell you all about it :)