As I am sure you are aware I am open to all manner of ideas, suggestions and feedback - negative as well as positive. It is thanks to someone else's idea that I have reworded my About Me section on the funding site. I now have a facebook page as well as a profile one because somebody told me it was a good idea to keep the funding side separate to my personal side (although I'm not sure that really matters much as both are me and have been set up for the same reason). Of course there are some ideas, suggestions that get knocked on the head straight away. I do have boundaries, morals and am not up for doing anything that could be construed as illegal.
A suggestion someone made this morning, while not illegal (I don't think) was fliappanty dismissed by me before the person had even finished speaking. I'll be honest, there is not much in this world which shocks me any more (I do have some quite odd friends) but I am utterly disgusted that not only could someone think I would be up for such a thing, they had the nerve to suggest it to me. What am I getting myself on about? Let me explain.
Those of you who read my twaddle will know that the other day I made the decision to include my niece in the trip - if she wants to come and is able to get the time off work!! Since then I have seen her younger brother also who has said he would "love to come". My niece (who I had not mentioned the trip too) had somehow managed to come across funding page and asked if mentioning her had got any donations :) It is odd that very day someone did make a donation but I'm sure their not related. She also found the post I shared on here where I explained why I wanted to take her with me. You can read it by clicking here.
If you've read it you may understand why I was so disgusted when the person told me I need to "capitalise on the kids misfortunes to raise the funds needed". When I asked what they meant they replied "Use the kids to get your money".
Talking about my niece the other day wasn't done to raise funds or get people to donate. It was to explain why I have added an extra person to the trip when I originally was asking for the funds for just the 2 of us. She won't add anything extra in essence except her flight costs but I thought it only right to explain how I had gone from raising funds for 2 of us to (now) 4. I wasn't asking for any extra money, I just want to be upfront and honest so nobody can come back at me at a later date and tell me I was being dishonest. I changed the wording on my "about me" bits because I realised I sounded very "woe is me" and almost looked as though I was garnering for sympathy. I want sympathy and I certainly do not deserve it. I am in the position I am in because I made bad choices, trusted the wrong people and was a fool. The reason for the blog and social media bits and pieces are for people to get to know me, understand what makes me tick. I've done it in the hope someone will go "you know what, I get this woman, I understand where she's coming from, I feel her passion when she talks about the places she wants to visit; I'm going to help her get back there". To even consider using the kids suffering and sadness as a means to my own ends would make me a pretty despicable excuse for a human being. The deserve better than that. Yes, I'd love for them to come with me but I won't use them to get where I want to go. That would morally wrong on so many levels. I'm sure it would also be illegal or at least morally fraudulent. I'm not asking for money to take them away; I'm asking for it so I can go away. If they are able to come when I have the funds needed then I will take them with me, but I am not here to raise the funds for them. This is all about me and only me.
Of course they've had it tough in their young lifetime, but so have many millions of other kids. By comparison they are extremely lucky. They have a roof over their head, shoes on their feet, clothes on their backs and food in their bellies. There are millions of children out there who would love such thing. They are no more special than I am and while their story is an extremely sad one, it is there story. I refuse to use them for my own gains.
You're right, talking about them here and mentioning my niece the other day is in a way using their story - to a point - but these blog entries and the updates where she has been mentioned will fade away into a distant past; they will become just memories buried deep in the depths of my twaddling words. While suggestions are welcome please be aware I am not here to exploit anyone. As I've said above and will say again, It is all about me. They have been mentioned only as a way for me to explain why I have added 2 extra people when the fundraising pages state just the 2.