Well, I'm here to tell you that will never happen. I've never quit on anything I wanted before, I don't intend to start now.
They say "all good things come to those who wait" and this is not just a good thing, it's an amazing thing and I truly believe it will come to pass. Whether that's down to kind hearted and generous people (like those of you reading this) or from some other means (a lottery win would be good - I could help other people achieve their dreams then too) it will come. I've never been wrong about any hunch I've had before, I'm definitely not wrong now.
It's weird because I mentioned to someone earlier about how the shop had been a bit quiet so I'd not been able to pay myself last month - yet. They then offered to lend me some money until I get paid. My reply to them was "thank you so much, but it will be fine". Low and behold less than an hour later a company I've been chasing for a couple of months that owed us money paid their bill. I see this as a sign that I might just be right when I say I will get to the states and visit all the places I'm going on about visiting. Whether that be with help from the lovely people who read this, find me on facebook, follow me on twitter or like my photo's on instagram (I'm on there now... you can follow me via this link http://tinyurl.com/j8agwhy ).
I'll be honest I started writing this last week (the above bits) and since then I've had several pm's about my trip, a few people ask if I could help them sort their own, and a couple of people like my instagram images, so I was thinking maybe someone out there had made a donation to kick start it all - not yet, alas, but I know it won't be long.
One of the people asking for help with a trip is off to Japan. Not somewhere I have ever thought about visiting, or will visit, but it's been interesting passing on the ideas I have and watching them translate/change them to fit in with a totally different experience and culture. I shall be following their travel every day eagerly awaiting their photographs and hearing about their exploits when they get back. While I'm no travel expert in any way shape or form, it was nice to be asked my opinion - it made me feel useful and happy to think someone who has never sorted their own trip but who always wanted to, is now going to embark on the experience of a lifetime because of me :) Sadly, they are in the same boat as me and need every penny they can muster to be able to afford to do their own thing so they never made a contribution to my trip, but I know my time will come. I know some of you will be laughing at my optimism but you'll see; I will have the last laugh. The right person who can help is out there, just waiting to stumble across this and set me on my way :)