I realised just how low, sad, and downright gloomy my posts were last week - to be expected though with all that was going on. Today, I shall be more upbeat and back to what I do best - talking a load of crap.!!
I had a call from my vet yesterday to say the fluid the took from my dogs lung has shown no sign of infection, nor any cancer cells; I cannot allow myself to hope too much, for she has to have another CT scan in just over 3 weeks which could throw up more (and they have told me to prepare for that, and for the fluid to have built back up in her heart, as they still have no idea what caused that) but for now, she is almost her 'normal' self (although she tires quicker than she did) and I've been able to sleep for 2 nights, so the world is looking a little bit brighter. I still have no idea what I'm going to do about paying for the rest of her bills, however, I've had a quote for my car (which I really do need but when needs must, and all that) and Mum has offered to sell her home (I'm hoping it won't come to that). For those of you thinking we are being stupid and should just have the dog put-to-sleep, let me ask you this. Would you put your child to death if you thought you could save them? To you she may be a dog, to us, she is family and we do all we can to protect our family - whatever the cost to ourselves. When we took the dog on we did so with the promise we would always look after (and out for) her; to destroy her just because it's more "convenient" would be to go against everything we pledged and promised. We have a responsibility to her. I guess that's the trouble with so much in this world these days - people choose to take the 'easy route' as they can't be arsed with the responsibility. I've never taken the easy route in my life (not always through choice, I will admit). I'm not about to start now.
Anyway; let's talk about something else.
Earlier in the year (for my Birthday, in April) my brother gave me some vouchers - we stopped doing gifts a long time ago, turning to vouchers instead that can be spent on things we want, when we want them. I tend to always purchase books with mine (not that I seem to be able to find the time to read them these days). This year was no exception. Having a nose around at what was available, I found myself searching for my favourite author - the amazing, Mr King (Stephen King for those of you who do not know who I mean) and saw he had a couple of books due for release. Now, while he may be my favourite, that does not mean I enjoy all he writes (I HATED - with a passion - The Girl who loved Tom Gordon, thought Heart's in Atlantis made very little sense, and just couldn't get to grips with Mr Mercedes - I'm also not a lover of the Gunslinger) however, I liked the sound of the one written with his son, titled "Sleeping Beauties" so I placed an order for it. This morning it arrived. It's quite possibly the thickest book I've bought in years (2.5 inches thick - almost War and Peace). I believe if they'd made the text a bit smaller it would have been half the size (it's almost as big as the books I read as a child when letters and words were still new to me). However, it is what it is, and I need to now find myself a nice (quiet) place to sit and digest it all. One of the things I love so much about Mr King, is the crossover you often get from one book to another; while the stories are the same, the odd character will pop up elsewhere, the same town will appear, or someone/something will be mentioned in passing. I love that continuity whilst keeping each story individual.
I used to read so many books, back in the days when I worked for others. I'd sit in my lunch break with my head buried in a good story, often getting through 2 (sometimes 3) books a week - I can't remember half of them (my memory on such things is shit) but I used to enjoy them as I went. Another author I enjoyed was a guy called Clive Cussler - he Dirk Pitt stories were easy to read and enjoyable - when he retired Dirk, I gave up on them, for they didn't hold as much interest to me. Maybe if I spent a little less time on the internet, waffling crap to thousands of people who pass by on a daily basis, I could read a little more. However, I still hope that one of those thousand passing on their way through the world of middle-aged woman waffling crap, will see I am genuine, and make a really nice donation to my cause (at the moment the vet bill's is the biggest I need help with, but the road trip fund is still there for anyone who might want to send me away - after the last few weeks I could do with a break (as could so many people in this world - I know that; our issues are relevant to us though, and only us)). Not that I could even dream of going away while my dog is poorly.
I've also had an old friend find himself in the position of us needing to contact each other through the power of the written word again, and not through phone calls, face-time or the internet any more. I have no problem writing to him, I'm just not sure how I am going to find the time to keep up with him, and all my other stuff. I really do need to work on my time-management skills. When it comes to my job I am extremely adept at organising myself; I only wish in my "free time" I was as organised :) One day I will finish that cross-stitch I started in 2010 - one day :)
One thing I can't wait for, is when I am able to take the dog for a proper walk again - at the moment she is only allowed a maximum of 15 minutes and last night she struggled a bit on the homeward part of the walk, although I don't think that was due to her illness; I think it was more frustration and boredom that she is not allowed to run off her lead. She loves nothing more than the second you un-clip her, and she will charge backwards and forwards like a crazy dog when you do. She's also not been to our local woods, as the walk there is longer than she is allowed out. I am sure once she is allowed a bit further (ooh, did I just let a little bit of positivity in?) it will take me 3 hours to get her out of the woods, for she's bad enough at sniffing everything; to have not been there for such a long time, she'll be sniffing every single blade of grass or leaf, instead of every other one :) ).