Monday, 5 June 2017

How is it even possible

that my niece turns 18 today? I know time flies, but really? there's flying by, and whooshing by; those 18 years have more than whooshed, flown and whizzed combined. It still seems like yesterday when I was rushing down to the hospital, her big sister in tow dragging along behind me - she stayed the night with me and really didn't appreciate being dragged out of bed in the wee small hours to meet a sister she wasn't even that keen on having :) She was just over an hour old the first time I held her, already a little person; I know all babies are little people as such, but often I find babies are something of nothing. I'll say "oh isn't he/she gorgeous" without actually meaning it for they all resemble shrivelled potato's and don't really start to look like little people until they are about 3 months old. My number 2 was different though. She was a little person from the very beginning. A mass of flame coloured hair (it's now a gorgeous natural blond colour, thick, long and lush) with the cutest (yet biggest) chubby cheeks I had ever seen. The second I held her in my arms I loved her - I've not always liked her since that day mind you :) She was such a girly girl, something we weren't used to with her sister who was willing to try anything, had no fear and didn't care if we dropped her in a muddy puddle - not that we ever did, she just wouldn't have bothered if we had. Number 2 though would squinny and whine if she got her hands dirty - she's still a whiner now :) Of the 3 kids she does have every right to suffer "Middle child syndrome - sadly". She is also the intelligent one of them all - alas this, as is often the case, means she doesn't have an ounce of common sense though. I guess you can't have it all. She's grown into a beautiful young lady who her Mum would be so very proud of and who would have spoiled her rotten today. I'm sure it's a bittersweet moment for my number 2 for she would give anything to have her Mum here so will be sad today as much as she will be happy. At least now she is old enough to leave home without her Dad-thing's permission; that can only be a good thing. 

Of course the downside to her now officially being a "adult" is that when I take her stateside everything is going to cost a lot more than if she was still a "child". hahaha.. it's a good job I've already factored that into the figures :) 

I do find it scarey though that she's this age because it means that I am also a lot older than I think I should be - definitely a lot older than I act :) My Dad was the age I currently am the day he skipped off down the path going to back to work after his really nasty bout of shingles; that was the day he had his heart attack. Except for when he was drunk - my Dad was a really funny drunk (he'd have me in stitches laughing at him) he was always a 'Grown Up' I could not imagine my Dad at that age behaving the way I do. Maybe he did and I just didn't see it because I was that much younger; I doubt it though. I feel very immature when I compare myself to him and my Mum at the same age. She was younger than I am now when Dad had the attack I can't even begin to imagine how that must have been for her I surely don't think I would have coped as well as she did. Maybe my generation are the immature ones for most people I know of my age all behave in the same way still. Then again maybe our parents did behave the same way, feel the same, think that same, they just didn't show it in front of us kids. Whatever the reason I know I don't want to grow up just yet. I went thorugh that phase when I hit my early/mid 20's; a time when I thought I should start to act more grown up. It didn't last :) I tried again when I got to my early 30's. This time is last a few years, but then as I found 40 approaching me (way too quickly and now sooooo far behind it's unreal) I thought again about how short life is; hence why I behave as I do these days. I know there are lots of people my age who judge me for it, look down on me and think I should start to "act my age" but how does one my age react? It's all relevant to each person. Some of you reading this will be in your 20/30's thinking to yourselves "Well I'll be more grown up than that at her age". Some of you will be in your 70/80's laughing and saying "good on your girl". As with everything in life - happiness, sadness, pain, it's all that which is relevant to each individual. Don't get me wrong. There are some people who do need to grow up. A particular friend of mine is a lot closer to 50 than I am but still thinks it's ok to talk like a teenage boy who's just discovered he can pleasure himself. I find it quite disgusting that he would behave in such a way with some things; especially when he's around teenagers. In fact I go out of my way  not to let him mingle with my nieces and nephew. Not because I am worried he would do something - he's a perv in a childish way, not in a "he will touch them and do disgusting things" kind of way (that was the kid's step-father; oh my how I hated him being left alone with my number 2) but I do not wish my friend to talk about the smutty stuff he talks about in front of the kids. I'm well aware my eldest is 26 this year, number 2 obviously 18 today and my nephew 15, but there are some things I do not think grown men should talk about in front of a friends kids (not mine but you know what I mean?). I don't like him discussing it with me so I certainly don't want him discussing it with them and I think at his age he should know better. Hmmm... maybe a little part of me is an adult after all :)



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