Monday, 16 January 2017

Aren't people wonderful?

Well, not all people of course for there some pretty nasty creatures that parade as human beings, but for the most part the general population of the world are wonderful. Except maybe women 4 x 4 drivers on the school run, middle aged men in BMW's, Audis and Mercedes - that category of people do tend to be quite ignorant and thoughtless. As is the mother who thinks it's ok to teach her kids that they can throw their sweet, crisps and food wrappers on the floor when there is a bin just 10 steps away from them. Then there are the dog owners who think it's ok to allow their animals to foul footpaths - although I think the ones who pick it up only to leave the bag hanging on a tree may even be slightly worse (at least the loose pooh can be avoided and will wash away if it rains, but those bags don't biodegrade). Oh and let's not forget Doctors Receptionists!! Aside from all those people though as a general rule people are wonderful. 

There are variations of that word too - wonderful. I could use it to describe my long since passed-over-to-the-other-side Nanny. She was wonderful in every sense of the word. Your A-typical white haired old lady, always ready with a smile on her face, love in her heart and the best cook of anyone who has ever put food ingredients together. The times I spent with her were some of the happiest of my childhood. However, wonderful can also be used in a slightly derogatory way - if the person being called as such decides to be offended. My version of it today could work on both sides. You see yesterday I had a little accident (no, not that kind of accident - my underwear was still as dry as when I put it on :) ) My accident involved an injury which has resulted in my hand being bandaged up. Where does my "wonderful" come into this story? Right here as I transcribe a brief section of conversation I had with a customer earlier.

Customer; "ooh, what have you done to your hand?"
Me; "Stabbed myself"
Customer; "Why would you do that?"
Me; "I wanted to know what it would feel like"
Customer; "Oh, ok. How did it feel?"

This lady fell into both categories. The first (my Nanny) wonderful because she asked what I'd done and showed genuine concern for my injury. The second though because I wasn't totally honest in my reply - she knows I'm inclined to come out with silly answers too so should have realised I was joking with her" but rather than laugh at me and tell me to tell her what really happened, she fell for my joke, hence making her wonderful in the other sense also. Once she realised what I'd said and how she replied, she laughed, told me off for joking with her and then asked what really happened. :) 

The stabbing myself part wasn't a joke, I really did stab myself, but not intentionally. 

I'd prepared what was probably the best roast dinner I have ever cooked. For once the whole thing came together and every single veg, the gravy, meat, was cooked to perfection. Having had visitors lunchtime I'd only eaten my pink grapefruit for breakfast so by the time I dished up at 6pm I was more than ready to get tucked in. I'm sorry to any vegetarians or vegans, but I am a meat eater. I hate how the animals are treated too but nothing compares to a nice bit of pork crackling on a Sunday. In fact the piece I had yesterday was so thick it had an extra layer of melt-in-the-mouth fat under the main outer crackle - this under-layer is the best part in my opinion. I always cut that away from the main bit if I have any; yesterday though for some stupid reason I decided it would be a good idea to hold the crackling in my hand as I cut away at it (normally I would stand it up and move the knife downwards towards my plate). The first 2 pieces came away beautifully; I should have stopped at that point, yet I chose to have one more bash at another piece I could see was slightly more stubborn. This was a really bad decision to make for my knife slipped and embedded itself into the flesh on my hand just under my middle finger. It went in so far the bruise has come out on the top of my hand - the knife went into the underside. The split second I pulled the knife out so the blood pumped all over the place. Mum asked what I was doing when I got up from the table (I think she thought I'd forgotten a veg or something). She said after I was so matter-of-fact as I told her "I've just stabbed myself" as I left the room she thought I was joking. Until 10 minutes later when she came out to the kitchen to see what I was up to and why I'd walked away from my dinner. It was then she saw the blood too and realised I had in fact injured myself :) I'm not one to bleed easily - although when I donate blood it whizzes out of me like a rocket - so for there to have been so much we knew I'd done a proper job on myself :) Having worked in the health care service, once the blood finally stopped Mum was able to patch me up and I went back to my dinner, which of course by then was cold and pretty much covered in my own blood. I ate what I could but my appetite wasn't quite what it had been before I'd been such a tit and damaged myself. Turns out I'd also sliced through the flesh on my 4th finger as well but I'd not realised that until I went to run my hand under the tap - you know what they say about "no sense, no feeling?" :) 

It's been a most interesting morning at work trying not to get the plasters wet as I work in job where my hands spend 90% of their time in water. I managed to stretch a rubber glove on (had to do that also in the shower) but then my hand got all sweaty and damp so it kind of defeated the object. 

One thing that has amazed me though is the amount of people who have asked whether I went to the hospital with it. The cut is deep but not that wide - I was using a steak knife so you can guess how wide it was. I rinsed my hand well, put on an antiseptic cream and covered immediately with a plaster. I don't get why I would need to go to the hospital for something I was able to patch up myself. I've not lost the use of any fingers so guess I've not damaged a tendon or ligament and other than maybe put in a couple of stitches there's nothing a doctor or nurse could do more than I have done. No wonder our NHS is in such dire straits if people are prepared to waste their time with wounds/injuries that can be treated elsewhere. I'm up to date on my Tetanus jabs (have to be in my job) so there is nothing more they could do. 5 different people have told me they would have been straight up to A & E after seeing my wound and knowing how I did it. I find that shocking so many people are willing to use our hospitals in such a way - one even told me to me get there today for I may end up with Septicaemia if I don't get it looked at (I know people IN hospital who have ended up with that so that doesn't really fill me with much confidence). I'm no fool, I know how an infection looks and presents itself. IF I thought it wasn't healing correctly then I'd head off to my local pharmacy and ask their opinion before doing anything else. They are after all as qualified as most doctors in hospitals and surgeries but unless I had a gaping wound I couldn't stop bleeding or had ripped my hand apart I'd never rush off to hospital. They have real emergencies to be dealing with and don't need people like me wasting their time. 

I'll tell you one thing though; it don't half throb!!!








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